This is another post from the May Post Project hosted by She Promotes. This time I read Rear View Mirror Conversations over at Being Tazim. In this post Tazim talks about her vacation away from life’s normal grind to clear her head and refocus her goals. I’ve been doing a lot of the same thing lately.
“I don’t mind living in a 500sq. ft place if I can be doing the things I love. I have had to re-evaluate what is most important to me, and more so who is most important to me.”
This is what sunk it in for me. I don’t mind a much simpler life if it means being surrounded by love and loving my life. Folks, if you’ve joined me recently I’d like to offer a recap…
For the past 5 years or so I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom struggling with my identity. Staying at home is wonderful and I’m grateful to have been a huge contributor to the beautiful child my daughter is turning out to be. I enjoyed watching her grow and learning from her. Being a mother taught me so much. But I must confess, it wore me out. I had no sense of individuality. My [ex-]husband and I had a rough time getting along because we simply didn’t understand each other. My needs as a person were not being met, and I couldn’t cope with what was expected of me. Although I was constantly in the company of my child, I felt so utterly alone.
So I had to sit back, relax, and make some decisions for myself. I had to be selfish for the sake of my personal well-being.
I didn’t get a vacation, therefor I am jealous of Tazim. I expect the planets to align sometime soon and offer me a retreat from all the stress I’ve been dealing with in the past. But I did take some time to re-evaluate what is most important to me. I downsized my life and decided to remove myself from the biggest triggers of my constant mental struggles.
It’s only been a short time here, but I feel happier. Having my own life makes me appreciate motherhood more. Being able to depend on myself makes me proud. I feel stronger and more successful now than I have in a long time. I can make this work. Life is truly beautiful if you just take it by the hand and embrace it.