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Where I Pee on Everything

It’s not really that funny when it happens, but in retrospect I suppose it can be viewed as rather hilarious. My video game nerd friend in North Carolina finds it hilarious and I’m surprised she doesn’t start every Skype conversation with “What did you pee on today?”

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Let me begin by explaining that I do my kegels. I have been doing kegels since before I needed to do kegels. It took me only 36 minutes to push out my first baby and I’m told that’s rather impressive. I never peed my pants until after that though, and even then I got my ability to not do so by stepping up my kegels.

This time around people are reminding me about kegel muscles because apparently subsequent children are more of a stress on your pelvic floor. No problem. I do kegels all the time. I’m doing them right now!

So let me tell you some stories about how kegels don’t matter when it comes to peeing your pants when you’re pregnant.

The first time it happened I was about 13 weeks along or so. I was still int eh “morning sickness” phase which was triggered by intense heartburn in the morning due to having an empty stomach. I needed to pee, but I also needed to puke. The puking seemed a little more important and I thought I could hold my bladder for a minute so I stood in front of the sink gagging in my underwear and it happened. I peed all over myself. And then I started to cry because those were my last pair of clean underwear.

I think I’ve mentioned this next one briefly, but here’s the whole enchilada since we’re on the subject. We were driving up to Ohio for the holidays and it was the Friday before Christmas so I completely understand why we got stuck in traffic so often. We were just driving along celebrating our venture into Kentucky and Gaia and I decided we should stop soon because both of us had to go potty. Of course that same minute is when traffic completely stopped. And we waited. We didn’t move at all and I was sucking on cough drops like no other. (I was recovering from the flu and still had a cough.) Gaia managed to hold hers for the entire hour we were in park on the highway, but me? No way. I coughed about 40 minutes in and peed my pants. We stopped at exit 11 where I had to change. Thankfully it wasn’t enough to soak my seat, or I may have cried then, too.

And now, at 30-ish weeks, I’m ashamed to admit that I have to change my underwear all the time. Laundry day is no longer determined by the amount of dirty clothes that have piled up. Now laundry day is determined by how many pairs of clean underwear mommy has left.

It’s okay guys… I do my kegels!

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Comments

  1. This has to be one of the cutest/funniest posts I’ve seen in a while. And ONLY another mother would understand peeing on everything lol I know I do!

  2. Funny stuff! I peed the bed when I was 8 months pregnant with my second child…my husband sat up and looked at me like…did that just happen?? lol Good Times!

  3. OMG!! too funny! Don’t you just love being a girl!!!

  4. 25 weeks with my second. We’ll see how far I get before this happens to me.

  5. I love this post.So funny. I understand this completely..LOl

  6. I admit…I did kinda laugh at the title. But yeah, it is kind of aggravating. I’ve “leaked” before, though I would say I’ve “peed” on myself. And I always had a big cup in the bathroom, in case I had to gag while using the bathroom. I had one in the car, too.

  7. I’ve been there, really I have. Now I have two kids and have lost hope on not doing it again. This cold has been horrible with lots of sneezing. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened.

  8. I pee my pants too, and I had a c-section (but I was also in labor too, maybe that helps?)
    Hahahaha. Too funny!
    xoxo
    Thanks for linking up!
    Megan @ thememoirsofmegan.com

  9. A friend showed me kegels – that made a whole lot of difference

  10. Oh goodness!! I’ve been there, done that! It’s amazing what pregnancy does to us! I managed to push my first one out in 35 minutes, and the second one, I pushed twice before the doctors & nurses begged me to stop..but I have the little uterus that could, and it kept on pushing!! I don’t do my kegels, although, I KNOW I should… but I appreciate the candor of your post!! Most moms wouldn’t share that sort of information…so I’m glad that you’ve got what it takes to say what we’re all thinking, feeling, doing and needing to hear!!

    Marianne
    Sandling All Day

  11. Ah, the fun part they don’t tell you about. Hilarious!

  12. This is funny!
    I have never done kegels and I have 2 children and thankfully don’t have this problem!
    It took me 38 minutes to push my daughter out and only about 8 for my son!
    My mother has this problem after 2 kids, so I’m SUPER thankful I don’t!

    Thanks for putting this out there though so other mothers can see they’re not alone!

  13. Funny. I never did when I was pregnant, but now that I’m older and after 4 kids I sometimes have little mishaps. Love your blog!

  14. This only happened to me once or twice. Too funny.

  15. Sounds like it’s time to invest in new underwear! 🙂

  16. LOL, and it only gets worse as you get older. You don’t have to pregnant to experience it! 😉

  17. I am a runner so naturally I was going to run during my pregnancy. So I did….until about 16-17 weeks and I peed myself. Yup, peed myself while running in my neighborhood and enough that I had a little trickle down my leg. That was the end of running while pregnant.

  18. Too funny! Oh the life of motherhood! Now can you believe those women who go in to get waxed up the Brazil before delivery? Do they not pea themselves too or was that not embarrassing enough to make sure your trimmed up for delivery day?

  19. hi there! here from the blog hop! You can find me at http://theresmagicoutthere.blogspot.com (new follower) too funny!

  20. This. Is. Seriously. Hilarious. Well, for an outsider, probably not for you!!!! You crack me up! I probably should do more kegels. You can be my kegel inspiration. Pushing out a baby in that kind of record time?! Insanity!!

  21. I was very fortunate to “miss out” on the random peeing moments with my son. You have given me reason number 8934531345 to tell my nagging family why we are not having a second child! 🙂

  22. Ugggggh I hate this aspect of pregnancy! What’s worse is that I always had a cough for the first three months, so …. yeah. Puking, peeing, sometimes more. ICK! HA!

  23. Hi there!
    Loving the blog!

    I haven’t been pregnant yet so have all this to look forward to further down the line ha ha.

    I am following through the blog hop!
    Hope you follow me back: http://chicgeekdiary.blogspot.co.uk/

    Jen @chicgeekdiary xx

  24. We’re in the same boat. I never knew how much having babies would take a toll on my bladder…and I generally forget to do my kegels. Oh, what a glorious day when I can jump on a trampoline again without fear. Enjoy your last weeks of pregnancy! Thanks for linking up with the Mommy-Brain Mixer.

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  1. […] me mentioning, our laundry facilities here aren’t the greatest. And of course there’s this issue I have because of my pregnancy that makes me have to do laundry more often than I normally would. […]

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