Today I am 40 weeks 3 days pregnant. I admit that this last week or so kind of taught me something about patience. Being huge and miserable had taken its toll on me and I was doing every natural-inducing thing I could find on the internet. They all come with small print of course: “If your body or baby is not ready you will not go into labor.” I’ve had days with contractions that come and go in waves sometimes lasting for hours only to have them fizzle out as soon as I considered calling anybody. It’s all quite exhausting and I’m convinced my sanity is intact because of my ability to find and manipulate various sleeping positions. There is something I’m utterly grateful for: a full night’s sleep.
Approaching each day in a sense of normalcy (“no baby yet… life goes on”) is pretty darn refreshing. Not every day is filled with epic amounts of productivity, but I feel as if I’ve realized it’s these last few weeks that I’ll miss the most. For example, this morning…
I woke up with Hutch at a little before 6 am. I just happened to have the urge to pee and as I returned to the room his alarm went of. We snuggled for ten minutes on snooze, then he went to get ready in the bathroom and I went to go wake up Gaia. I had nowhere to sit to talk to her so I had to gently pat her. “Hey Gaia. Wake up.” She was so adorable all drowsy as she rolled over. “What?” she said, so bluntly and big-sounding. “Move over so I can snuggle you,” I said. And she did, rather quickly and hassle-free.
She did the thing I love, where I sit next to her and she flails her top half over my lap and rests her head on my thighs. I love this position so much. I sometimes rub her face and play with her hair as I try to get her to engage in conversation. “You had a bad dream last night, do you want to talk about it?” “No. Can we just talk about this later?” (That’s me, folks. That’s my daughter blowing off stressful conversations in Mommy form.) “Okay. Well you know you have to go to school soon, right?” Then we bargained for a few more minutes of rest. The deal was I’d leave and brush my teeth and come back and turn on the light. Which I did. And then I picked out clothes for her, put them on her pillow and left again only to return to a completely different outfit on my child. Hers was better, I have to admit.
And that’s when it hit me. She was always my child. Just the one. Soon I wouldn’t have as much time to hold her in my lap uninterrupted, or bargain with her about her morning routine, or take as much time to appreciate her awesomeness. Our time would be split as soon as this baby comes. She’ll have to share everything, including me. It made me very sad for her. So I brushed her hair, asked if she wanted it up, and then invited her back to my room to snuggle until Hutch got done. Then he rushed her out the door and she got all the way to the car before turning around to come give me a hug. And it was the best hug ever.
I don’t mind if we have another morning alone together. The baby can wait it out for a few more days. 🙂