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Mission: The Happy Couple

I have arguments with my fiance. It is almost always related to money in one way or another. It starts off with one of us needing or spending money, and then the other places blame. (Note: The blame can come up as part of another argument. Like that time is said “Well if you didn’t go buying [this thing I feel isn’t important]…”) We usually take things way too personal and yell and/or cry.

I had an argument with my fiance last night. There was a police car in our complex checking out some graffiti on one of the buildings and we were headed to the grocery store. It was dark out and it’s kind of chilly compared to our normal Floridia winter weather. I turned the car on and started playing with the controls for the heater. A car was going rather fast but was coming up on a speed bump. I went ahead and reversed without turning on my lights. Hutch raised his voice and reminded me there was a police man and I could be ticketed for not having my lights on. Long story short – I got upset because he appeared to be so angry about it. I got defensive and I wound up crying. I waited in the car and gave him the silent treatment. After about an hour of sulking I took off to Starbucks and had some alone time to process.

When I came home, I realized that the love we have is more important than whatever nonsense we turned that argument into. Because that’s what it is most of the time: nonsense. I feel like I am getting a grasp on how to handle these stressful problems that come with having a partner for life. I’m trying to remove myself from the prideful things that take over my emotions. I’m taking a full grasp of that selfless love and I am sharing it with my fiance.

Since I’ve Been reading Wife After God and participating in her 30-day devotional, I’ve learned more about myself.  I’ve been taking this time to gain encouragement with my struggles, open up, and be thoughtful of my relationships with those who are affected by my presence. I’ve noticed differences with how I handle my children, how to deal with difficult situations, and how I communicate with my soon-to-be husband. I’ve learned a lot about communication, trust, and intimacy.

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Now if you’re wondering: No, I’m not a Christian. I have always considered myself agnostic in the sense that I’ve never fully committed to any specific higher being. However, I’ve been making progress on my first read through the Bible. Since Christians always turn to the Bible for answers, I figured I’d give it a shot. (I enjoy experiencing religious books.) Although Wife After God is based on trusting in your love for God, you could easily make your own versions of the challenges by removing any religious connotations. Jennifer Smith is easy to understand and she breaks it all down in a clear and concise way. This devotional truly can empower a relationship between a woman and her partner.

It gives off an overall positive vibe, regardless of my interpretations of Christianity. I do not feel forced to do anything I’m not comfortable with and the challenges only strengthen my love for my fiance. You can buy Wife After God here (hard cover and eBook available).

We’re getting married in October, by the way. We’ll be together five years and engaged two and a half of those years by then. Although we’re already a family unit, it will be exciting to be recognized as Mr. and Mrs. Douthett. Let the wedding plans commence!

 

Disclaimer: I received the book above free of charge in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are 100% my own. I shall not tell lies!

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Comments

  1. I think that’s so cool that you’re reading a devotional even though you’re not a Christian. I can appreciate when someone can find value in something even though they might not 100% agree with everything that it says. PROPS.

    Also I’m prone to give my husband the silent treatment. I’m seriously like a child sometimes. i don’t know why he puts up with me. Haha.

    • It always seems like a good idea at the time to do something so silly like “the silent treatment,” but I think it’s a huge step to realize how detrimental behaviors like that can be to a relationship. I do believe that people need time to process. However, instead of just clanging dishes around ignoring him, I have began to implement the habit of leaving for a while and then coming back to communicate in a more appropriate way.

      And thank you for the props. 🙂 I consider myself to be really open so I’ll take any good advice I can find, religious or not. Wife After God is a really well put together devotional.

  2. Sounds like a good book for me. I really struggle with keeping my temper in check. I end up controlling myself with the kids, only to take it all out on my husband.

  3. This is awesome! Thank you for sharing your heart and for being so transparent!!! LOVE hearing your thoughts! xx

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